Story from the Spam Page

[Evory]

Just 21 for me...

Hey, I know a game that's perfect for the SPAM topic (at leasts as long as the posts still count ^^). I start with a sentence/half a sentence/ a word and the next person adds to it. You can quickly get a whole lot of posts without double posting. If it works, I might make a Forum Game of it.

So here goes

One upon a time ...

(not very original, but it's a start XD)

[Zain]

Sounds fun~

...Evory and Zain ruled the world...

XD

[Evory]

...and all was well.

wait, that doesn't make a good story

uhm...

but there was someone who was eying the prosperous Kingdom Queendom. It was a fellow member of Transcendence ...

[Zain]

lol.

...who was always wreaking havoc...

[Evory]

While keeping up the appearance of an innocent member in front of Xye, this person was actually a dark warrior, whose only weakness was a fetish for small furry hats ...

[Zain]

o.O

...and Zain and Evory being the clever rulers of the Queendom saw through their act...

[Evory]

...and they realized they had to act before the death toll would rise catastrophically. The prepared a secret weapon, a(n) ...

[Zain]

...huge collection of furry hats, and while that may seem quite benign, it contained something tremendously horrible, a(n)...

[Evory]

immensely cute, furry and fluffy guinea-pig. However, it was no ordinary guinea-pig, because ...

[Zain]

it could FLY, and...

[Evory]

...was about thirty times the size of an ordinary guinea-pig. Another ability of it was ...

urgh, I have to leave now. You could ask Criss (yay, she's back!) for some story-telling company...

And I am only 9 posts away from Immortality 

[Zain]

...that it could speak English so it understood everything everyone said, so it was almost like a spy. One day, the guinea pig...

(Congrats on getting an avi, Evory :P)

Edit: Okay, see ya, Evory~ LOL aww!

[Evory]

... sniffed up the putrid stench of his master, the dark warrior (whom he actually really disliked), and immediately warned the Royal Guard. But they were no match for him/her. So the guinea-pig ...

*really has to go now*

[Zain]

...ate through the walls, and invaded the castle, only to come face to face with Xye, the royal empress...

Kay T.T But it was just getting interesting!

[Evory]

*managed to steal some extra time *

Of course she was pissed that the guinea-pig ate trough her walls, and was about to exile it to the Deserted Dessert of Dreakjlekluyur (Ancient nomad language for Can-I-really-not-have-a-dessert-mommy?), when ...

ONLY ONE MORE POST AND I'M IMMORTAL!!

[Zain]

...the talking guinea pig uttered the following words:...

[Shiki]

<--- Has no idea what's going on because is too lazy to read the posts above.

[Tammy]

I LIKE CHEESE!
This could be counted as spam, and a continuation of the story. XD

[Zain]

Hahaha, do you want to continue the story with me, Tammy? :3

@Shiki: Read it if you want to join~

[Evory]

... And the royal empress Xye decided than Guiney the giant talking guinea-pig was innocent, because she loved cheese too, and couldn't stand the idea that another sentient, cheese-loving being would be exiled to the (cheese)-dessert-less deserted dessert. After Guiney's name was cleared, it tried to warn her about the approaching dark warrior, but ...

[Tammy]

alas, no one could take a giant, talking, fluffly guinea pig named guiney seriously, and fell to the floor laughing. But, while everyone was rolling on the floor, royal empress Xye spied through her window the approaching dark warrior. Completely ignoring the guinea pig and all the hardships it had faced tor each them, Xye's warriors immediately prepared for combat against the dark warrior's troops...

[Evory]

but they were too late. While the troops were still putting on their armour, the enemy army had already arrived, and were taking over the castle. They fought as best as they could, but were severely hindered by their only half-donned armour. Guiney the guinea-pig decided that it had to do something ...

[Criss]

*drops in*

I'm the first and only Heaven's Minion....(for now)
  ~Yay~ 

[Evory]

  Wow, that means only Xye has more posts than you...

Want to joint in [spam]storytelling-game? (Read the previous posts first ^^)

[Criss]

Yep !! Only Xye has more post than me....
And i have a long way to go before i can catch up with her.
......About 200 posts i think 

Count me in ~.^
*goes read the previous pages*

[Evory]

Yay!

[Zain]

..So it flew out of top of the castle and stepped in the middle of the castle through an outside window, only to come face to face with its master the dark warrior, who was clearly surprised that the guinea pig was going against him/her, so...

[Evory]

... Guiney, knowing it had the element of surprise, used its formerly still unknown secret weapon: the ability to summon his nest of furry little hats. The huge collection of furry hats filled the halls of the castle, which made fighting impossible, and drowning the dark warrior with happiness at the sight of so many hats. Then Guiney said: ...

[Zain]

..."I have served you enough, Master, but alas, the time has come for me to seek a new one, and it seems I've already come to like the royal empress Xye, and so I must part with you and..."

[Evory]

..."I sincerely hope that you can overcome your wicked and violent ways, and restore peace to this Empire (What happened to our Queendom?), that Xye and I will rule with our love for cheese!! The dark warrior obviously didn't like this (he hated cheese) and ...

[Zain]

....he immediately took out a long large, shiny sword which he drew to Xye's neck. Before he could attack though, Evory and Zain (see? we're still here...i guess we're a rank lower than Xye then?)....

[Evory]

... had already struck him down. How? Zain threw her money at him, and while he was distracted by the coins hitting him, Evory took out her Heavon's Minion scythe, and beheaded him. Guiney ...

[Zain]

...was somewhat upset by the beheading but he knew he had to move on. For the sake of the Queendom and the Empire, Guiney removed the mask which had covered the head of the dark warrior to reveal him as none other than a fellow member of Transcendence:....

[Evory]

... It was non-other than *BEEP* [Server malfunctioning, we apologize for the inconvenience]. Everyone was shocked by this turn of events, this was the last person they had expected it would be. They then had to decide what to do with the corpse, and what to tell the other members. Zain suggested that ...

[Zain]

...everyone who witnessed the unfortunate turn of events should not say anything to the other members about *BEEP* [server malfunctioning again...] and instead create a proper burial and funeral for the member. Evory added that...

[Evory]

... The official reason for the death of *BEEP* [server malfunction] would be a tragic accident. The reports would say he had died because he turned out to be severely allergic to the fur of his collection of hats, and had suffocated when ignoring his asthma attack while playing with the hats. Xye agreed and announced that she would ...

[Zain]

...make Zain and Evory royal empresses too, after their brave encounter with *BEEP* [server malfunction], and Guiney would be knighted as Sir Guiney and would guard the Empire against all future evil...

[Evory]

... and the three empresses ruled the prosperous Empire, aided by sir Guiney the guinea-pig, for many years. And they lived happily ever after.

UNTIL ...

The fantastic spam-story part 2 begins

[Zain]

LOL XD

...Many years later, Xye went for a vacation to a different kingdom to visit her best friend, and Zain and Evory were left to care for the Empire themselves. Nothing had happened since that horrible incident long ago, but Sir Guiney the guinea pig was aging, and Zain and Evory found themselves tired a lot as well...

[Evory]

...So they decided to look for an Heir and Protector for the Empire, seeing as Xye was also suffering from the years. The Protector would be trained by Sir Guiney (who had learned Martial Arts) and take over the rule over the Imperial Army. The Heir of the Empire would take over the sceptre after Xye, Zain and Evory had died or grew tired of their power. Evory and Zain arranged a huge election, and the not so surprising result for both the positions was the child of werr and Tammy. He had grown into an extremely gorgeous, strong and wise young man*/half-vampire, and was very popular among the people. But before he would be able to take up the position of Heir of the Empire, he had to accomplish seven tasks. The first task ...

*I turned it into a male, because the majority of the forum is female. If it turns out to be something different, take no offence  

Whoah that was long XD

[Zain]

...was to learn archery, a major skill in battle, so Sir Guiney and the child of werr and Tammy [unnamed since they havent decided yet >.<] took upon practicing archery everyday. At first, the boy was having a difficult time, missing all the shots, and some even accidentally aimed at Sir Guiney! o.o But little by little, he grasped the task of this enduring challenge, and finally came to master it. Two weeks of hard work and preserverance paid back, but he had no idea his second challenge would be...

Mine was long too...XD

[Evory]

... sword fighting. While he had sparred in his childhood, fighting against the 20 feet tall Sir Guiney was quite a challenge, and he took a lot of blows at first(they obviously didn't fight with real sword, but with sticks). But after a few months of very hard training, he managed to defeat Sir Guiney! [insert name]'s basic training was now over, and the harder, quest-like tasks would begin. The third task was to retrieve ...

[Zain]

...hidden apples in the castle. Sir Guiney hid a total of 500 apples in the castle, and [insert name]'s job was to retrieve every single one of them...Sir Guiney reasoned that this task would determine his willingness to never give up and his stamina. And when the task started, [insert name] was caught totally offguard when he was told of how many there were hidden, and almost thought that he wouldn't be able to accomplish this long task. Even so, he pushed himself through the whole time, looking in every inch of the castle, never ignoring a dark alleyway or corner. Until finally, after 13 hours of searching, he managed to bring all 500 back (most of them had rotted by then)...and Sir Guiney thought [insert name] was ready for the next task...

Gotta go, Evory D:

[Evory]

... to clean out the Royal Stables, which were rarely cleaned because of their huge size. This was also a training for stamina and willpower. But it was mostly to learn about his own humbleness, because an Emperor's job is no bed of roses. The stench was nearly unbearable, but the boy's awesome willpower and great physical strength was enough to get the job done sooner than everyone expected. It only took him eight hours.

But the final three tasks wouldn't be as simple as the previous ones. For these tasks, he had to go to the outside world and maybe even outside of the Empire, were danger would lurk behind every corner. After a tear-jerking separation from his parents, he was burdened with the task to save a town at the border of the Empire from the ...

see you later.

[Shiki]

*reading the story*

[Zain]

...twin-headed dragon in the Cave of Death, notoriously known for killing off everyone who had ever dared to go in there. These days the dragon was getting ruthless, venturing outside of the cave more and more, leaving the defenseless town screaming in peril.

This sudden activity was just recently discovered by the Empire, for the town was quite far away, and communication was only brought by common travellers and merchants. Guiney thought at first that this task would be too much for the young boy, but after careful thought and examination of his proven skills, [insert name] was notified of this. He was surprised by the news, but he thought these kinds of situations could turn up everyday if he were to be the successor, and so he took upon the challenge with great confidence, and he and Sir Guiney rode on toward the town...

[Evory]

You know, the story is actually getting pretty good .

..but neither of them expected the perils they would face on their journey. Only after a few miles, they came across a...

That was short XD

[Zain]

Yeah, it's getting really suspenseful~
Lol, after my two paragraphs you write two sentences XD

...a gang of robbers who confronted them, threatening that if they would kill Sir Guiney and him if they would not give them money. Surely they did not know of their status in the royal empire, but that didnt matter as the robbers were unsheathing their swords and getting ready to fight them for their gold. [insert name] surprised them all by...

[Evory]

...his almost impossibly advanced sword fighting skill. While the robbers lay panting on the ground, most of them severely wounded, Sir Guiney used his final attack: He squashed them to death. Victorious, they headed onwards, but were stumped when they came to a river. They looked for a bridge and found one half a mile from where they were. But they couldn't just cross it, for there was a Guardian. He wore a long black cloak with his hood up, so you couldn't see his face. He asked in an ominous voice if they wanted to cross the bridge. Sir Guiney answered that they would like to. The Guardian of the Bridge answered:

"I'm afraid you cannot pass,
my dear young man and furry friend,
for a dire payment you both must spend.
I do not wish for your gold,
your silver, or your brass.
I only want something, that cannot be sold.
I want you to search your heart,
Your home, your land, that what you adore,
And give me something worth dying for."

...

[Zain]

Nice poem! :]

...Both Sir Guiney and [insert name] did not know what to make of this rhyme. Sir Guiney was beginning to think this expedition was becoming too much, not just for [insert name], but for himself, as well. This rhyme felt both of them to ponder in silence, trying to come up with things 'worth dying for.' After some thought, the boy boldly said...

[Evory]

..."Is it not for a fair maiden that most men would gladly die for? Perhaps that is what he wants!" Having no better ideas, Sir Guiney and [insert name] went to the nearest town, and started looking for the most beautiful girl in town. They didn't have much trouble finding her. Her name was Barbara and she was the owner of a tavern which she had inherited from her father. [Insert name] decided to approach her, and explain their predicament to her. The moment she saw him, she was immediately enchanted by his handsome features, and was happy to do whatever he wanted and didn't even listen to what he said (her brain apparently wasn't as extraordinary as her appearance). They brought the fair maiden to the bridge, and wanted to give her as 'payment' for passing. But the mysterious cloaked Guardian did not except. He noticed that [insert name] had no feelings for the girl, and therefore wouldn't be worth dying for. Barbara was enraged that the guardian didn't listen to [insert name], and tried to attack the Bridge-guardian, but fell into the water. [Insert name] immediately jumped in to save her, but as they climbed back to shore, he tripped and fell. Worse, he hit his head and was knocked unconscious. He sank, and the current drifted him further and further away. Sir Guiney didn't hesitate one moment, and also jumped in to save [insert name], despite the fact that he could barely swim, let alone dive deep enough to get to him. He went underwater, and for a few agonizing moments, there was no sign of both of them. But then, Sir Guiney's head broke through the surface, with [insert name]'s limp figure on top of it. Sir Guiney struggled to the shore, and fell down to the ground, dead tired. Barbara immediately went to see if [insert name] was all right, and thankfully he was. The Guardian let them pass the bridge after that, because he had seen a friendship worth dying for. But before Sir Guiney and [insert name] could leave, he took off his cloak only to reveal that under his cloak he wore... another cloak. He gave the cloak to Barbara, who gladly put it on (she was freezing). After that, she said to [insert name]:

"Please noble knight,
If you don't mind,
Let me join you by your side,
Because you are so kind.
You are also brave and true,
I wish to accompany you on your quest,
Because I know you are the best.
And I think I love you!"

"Why are all these cloaked people rhyming?" Sir Guiney thought puzzled. He ...

That was long

[Sakira]

 

I ate an apple that was in my fridge for 3 weeks.  

...it was the best apple I ever had  

It was so sweet and juicy  

I miss it 

[Cheradee]

^Sakira ~ that was a sweet post 

LOL 

[Zain]

Lol XD

...looked over at [insert name], waiting for his reply to the young maiden. Without hesitation, the boy replied,

"Dear young maiden,
For where we go is far
I cannot let you come
And journey by the stars
Dangerous is the road ahead
Of where a twin-headed dragon resides
And sad will the outcome be
If you were by my side
I cannot defend both Sir and thee
So, please be kind and wait for me."

Sir Guiney thought it clever that [insert name] responded with a rhyme, as well. But he felt the seriousness in it, too. The maiden, a bit disappointed but understanding, wished him well on his way, and promised to wait for him when he would come back.

The journey before them was still quite lengthy, and both Sir Guiney and the boy grew tired as night fell...

[Evory]

...So when they reached the next city, they decided to sleep at a hostel. Word had already spread about the young soon-to-be-Heir-of-the-Empire, and the whispers followed him everywhere. They often were words of faith and encouragement, but there were also signs of disagreement, jealousy and spite against [insert name]. While slightly uncomfortable, the boy was wise enough to ignore the hostile muttering, and kept up a proud attitude to make sure his fans and foes kept their distance. (like Prince XD) Sir Guiney walked up to the landlady, and saw to his surprise that she was also wearing the all to familiar black cloak. She asked them in a melodious voice:

"Would you like to stay for the night,
Or do you only want to eat a bite?
I offer both,
That is an oath,
And I am quite right!"

Sir Guiney, quite flabbergasted, answered: "We'd like to stay for the night. I shall need a rather large room, but my friend here can have a normal one. Oh, and I suppose dinner would be nice too, but I only eat lettuce"
"And I'd like some meat-pies", answered the boy. The landlady looked at him with an empty gaze, and repeated her poem. At that moment, the landlord ran towards them, and said to his wife:

"These two are here to stay for the night,
But they would also like to eat a bite!
Make sure that the furry one gets a room
Suitable for his size,
So he still has some legroom.
The boy wants to eat meat-pies,
But the guinea-pig only eats lettuce,
So start cooking, my bundle of cuteness!"

The landlady's eyes cleared in understanding, and went to see if there were any rooms available. The landlord looked apologetically at Sir Guiney and [insert name]. "I'm sorry about that, but ever since that stranger gave her that cloak, she can only speak in rhyme. She also doesn't understand anything that is not spoken in rhyme, except single sentences. I must say I have gotten quite good at this rhyming thing... I have tried to remove the cloak, but it is simply impossible. You know, the one that gave her his, also had another one underneath! How crazy is that!"
Sir Guiney quickly understood the situation. "Was it the man that guards the bridge of the Dustspeck River?"
"No, he guards the road to Caterpillar-town. She answered some crazy riddle he had about something that had both one, two and three legs, and was given the cloak. Because it was a cold night, she excepted it, and now she won't take it off!" the landlord wailed.
So there are more of these mysterious cloaked rhyming people, Sir Guiney thought. Worse, they were giving copies of their cloaks away, infecting more and more people with the Rhyming Curse. He would have to report it to the Empresses as soon as possible. But first, he had to make sure that [insert name] would safely complete his task. He ...

Whoah another long one XD. It's getting interesting...

[Criss]

No matter how many time i read that, i can't understand it. >.>

[drexizle]

xD

[Zain]

then looked over at [insert name] who had put on his pondering face. He must be worried about that rhyming curse, thought Sir Guiney, but he should be a bit more focused at the hand at hand.

Thinking this, he wondered how much of a thread that curse really was. The first time they've encountered it was earlier in the day with the man at the bridge. He had given a cloak to the maiden. And tonight, at this hostel, the landlady seemed to be affected, too; the landlord had mentioned that someone who was also wearing a cloak had given her that one. Confirmed affected: four.

If one needed cloak to be affected, and if those men who gave one to the landlady and maiden had another underneath, did that mean they could possibly give another cloak to someone else, and given that it held the same power, affect that person, too? Evidently, if under THAT cloak was yet another, then the process would be endless, affecting more and more people. Why, several in this town could already be affected.

Could this possibly be a ridiculous scandal against the empire?

All of this thinking was making Sir Guiney quite tired, and he did not notice at first when his food was brought in by the landlady. She smiled warmly at the two of them, and placed the dishes of steamed lettuce and meat pies in front of them. [insert name] said:

"Thank you for the food you bring.
I say we are most glad.
We'll surely eat in gratitude,
and make sure it won't go bad."

The landlady nodded in understanding, and left the room. [insert name] was about to stab a meat pie with his fork, when they heard a loud crash, and then glass was everywhere. The windows had been broken, and now five men in cloaks stood before them now...

[Evory]

Warning! it is long. Very long. Crazily long. I couldn't resist.

One of the five stepped forward, and said in a deep bass voice;

"Are you [insert name], son of werr?
Answer the question, you little bugger!"

[Insert name] slowly raised from his seat. "And what if I am?"

The man sneered:

"My master has a message for you.
Treat him with respect,
you little rat.
So without further ado,
He shall now make his début!"

And another cloaked man entered on the red carpet the other four men had been busy rolling out. He didn't have his hood up, so you could see his face clearly. He was pale white, had sleek black hair and red-eyes. He was obviously a vampire.

"I am the Vampire Emperor of Vladstøck. My name is Drahardur the Great, the great-great-great-great-grandson of the great Dracula."

How often can you say 'great' in one sentence? Sir Guiney thought randomly, but realized that there were more pressing matters at hand like...

"Why aren't you rhyming?" [Insert name] had already said it before he could stop himself.

The Vampire Emperor, Drahardur, seemed annoyed that he was interrupted.

"There is still such a thing as a normal black cloak." He hissed. "But that reminds me of the more pressing matters at hand, if you understand. Hahaha!" He suddenly laughed out. "I can rhyme too! Even without that cloak!"

He took of his black cloak (he wore a black suit underneath) with a swooping movement and threw it into the crowd, that completely forgot to catch it because they were staring at him. He finished with a dramatic pose, his five henchman poised around him, revealing instruments. To everyone's complete surprise, Drahardur started singing in an eerie tune.

"Well you may be wondering,
Why exactly we're here...
I can guarantee you,
It's not for the beer."

Henchman #2: "That appalling liquid,"
Henchman #3: "Almost worse than exorcising acid"

"The Emperor am I,
Of a land greater than this,
So you're thinking 'why,
with his presence here,
there must be something amiss.'"

'A land greater than this?' Sir Guiney thought. He knew Vladstøck wasn't even half the size of the Empire of Transcendence and Gackt-Manga-Anime-and-Cheese-lovingness*. It was also known to be filled with the scum of the world. But further thoughts were repressed, because the song continued.

*This is the Empire's full name (it was the Royal Empress Xye's idea), but no one ever uses it, everyone prefers 'the Empire' or 'the Empire of Transcendence' for obvious reasons.

"Yes indeed there is,
Something very amiss.
War is upon you,
If you didn't realize it yet.
This you cannot argue
Because it is me as the enemy you'll get!"

Henchman #2: "Enemy"
Henchman #2+3: "Enemy!"
Henchman #2+3+4: "Enemy!!"
Henchman #2+3+4+5: "Enemy!!!"
Henchman #1 (deep bass): "The enemy is he."

"My Empire, great as it is,
Is not sufficient for me,
I want to expand it,
But I cannot do it for free"

Two of the henchman turned to the crowd.

Henchman #3: "Not free for you of course,
Henchman #2: "For it is war on you we'll enforce"

Drahardur ignored them, and continued his song

"I've already started to invade,
Your peace will soon be shattered.
Because the Rhyming Curse of the cloaks
Isn't the only thing on it that mattered.

For another hex,
Is enclosed with it
Slyer, more dangerous
And complex
Something a nitwit
Cannot get. (Forgive my bluntness)

It will destroy your peace,
Without needing to get my army involved.
Your Empire will be dissolved
And my land will increase."

Some of the henchman started playing a bit faster tune

Henchman #5: "Shiver and fear,
Henchman #2: "Soon we'll come for you!"
Henchman #5: "Let me make this quite clear,"
Henchman #2: "Your doom is due..."

Henchman #1: "Fools! Don't! You! interrupt Master!
He's not finished with his performance yet.
For! Good! Ness! sake, stop you chatter,
Or I'll give you a reason to fret."

There was a moment of silence, then slowly, the eerie music started again, and Drahardur continued his song.

"Thanks my good man.
Indeed my story isn't done,
I'm looking for a side-man
And here before me is the one.

He shall rule beside me,
Together with his dad,
For with us is where he belongs
I can guarantee that!

What say you,
To this once-in-a-life-time offer,
A chance for you to be Emperor,
If  you refuse I'll make you rue."

He obviously doesn't know I'm going to be Heir of the Empire of Transcendence soon, [insert name] thought. And what has Dad got to do with it? Maybe he needed it for rhyming?

At this point Sir Guiney was barely listening to the song. Three cloaked (a royal purple one, a silvery grey one and a deep blue one) women were whispering next to him, and he could clearly hear what they said.

"How long do you think he needed to practice this song?" The purple cloaked woman asked to her companions.

"A few months at least." The blue one replied.

"Years is more like it." The silver one retorted

"Yes, probably. He's really slow at learning new things." The purple one concluded.

Sir Guiney tried to continue listening to the song, but was distracted by the women's giggling. They seemed awfully familiar...

Drahardur continued singing, without pause.

"You will not refuse,
an offer as great as this,
For I am the greatest ruler,
Ah, this makes me reminisce.
Of battles, great and beyond imagining,
All won by me, The Greatest King!"

Henchman #4: "An Emperor really..."
Henchman #1: "Hush! Stop trying to be brainy!"

"The battle at the plains of Mortality,
Hell's Minion's war long ago...

"Dad told me about that war! Isn't that the war where so many vampires were created?!" [insert name] suddenly shouted out, having heard more than enough of the song and Drahardur's egocentricity. "I remember you now! He said you killed his father, my grandfather, and made a vampire out of my dad in that war! I'll never forgive you!"

Drahardur, annoyed that he was interrupted again before he could finish his song. He turned to [insert name] with a cold stare, and in an even colder voice said the one thing [insert name] would never forget:

No [insert name], I am your grandfather.

LOL XD Star Wars reference!

[Zain]

O.O WOW.
Lol, I'll try to get my part in soon~
You make it so interesting!

Edit: I wanted to start but now I have to go

[Zain]

Double posted...

[insert name]'s face tightened. Sir Guiney could not make out what kind of emotion he was displaying, and was too shocked himself to say anything. They both stared at Drahardur in plain astonishment, refusing to believe this man before them was [insert name]'s grandfather.

"H-how?"  was all [insert name] would muster up to ask.

"What do you mean, 'how'?" replied Drahardur calmly. "Biologically, if that's what you mean."

Sir Guiney was beginning to get a little irritated. "I think the boy means to say how you are still alive."

"I am alive because I survived." The vampire retorted.

Even [insert name] could not stand this dark humor. "Why are you alive?!" he cried. "You are supposed to be dead!"

"That is to say...what did you father tell you about me? How did he say that I died?" said Drahardur.

"He said my grandfather died from a vampire," [insert name] replied quietly. "Dad said that when you and him went to fight off the vampires near the lagoon," he continued, his voice rising with each word, "he was caught offguard by a stray vampire and when he killed that guy, and went back to look for you, he said he saw your dead body!"

Drahardur scoffed. "Oh, how my son lies. You believed him?"

[insert name] anger was boiling up inside him. How dare this person talk about his dad like that! And how could this man be his grandfather? He's not, he's not, repeated [insert name] in his head. He can't be my grandfather!

And with confidence, [insert name] replied, "Of course I believed him. Why should I believe you?"

"I'll prove it to you."

[drexizle]

Is this the whole story made in this thread ? @__@

[Zain]

@drex: Yep! Lol

[drexizle]

Dx lmao, what a nice story .. ;DDD !?

[Evory]

I made a PDF of the first story, including a front cover, (very short) chapters and a note from me. I'm not posting it yet, because Zain might want to read through it first (and/or also add a note) before I post it.

Here's a treat for the readers (fans maybe? ): The front cover.
Yes, Sir Guiney is purple. Even if it's not in the story. It's the privilege of the illustrator

I don't know what to put on the cover of Episode 2 though... Any of you have any ideas? (While I'm at it, does anyone know a good young-male-hero name? This [insert name]-thing is starting to annoy me )

edit: One more thing: If you are/want to be known as the Dark Warrior with a fetish for furry little hats, please let me know so I can repair the server malfunction

Now on with the story  

Drahardur turned around and put his hair aside, exposing the back of his neck. There was a small red tattoo of a drop of blood on it, that seemed horribly familiar to [insert name]...

"You recognize it, don't you?" Drahardur said softly, turning to face [insert name] again. "Every member of the Imperial Vampire Family has been given this tattoo at the age of 6, so everyone in Vladstøck knows who they are dealing with..."

He took back his cloak one of his henchmen had retrieved, and continued:  "My fifty-second son of my thirteenth wife, Werrharmur of Vladstøck, ran away from home when he was seventeen. I had set up a search party to search my entire Empire, but it was in vain."

He grabbed a flask from his cloak and drank deeply from it. "It was a bloody-shame, it was only a few days before I would announce that he would become the heir to the throne after my two-hundred year term was up. My fifty-one older sons and fifty-five older daughters had already killed each other while fighting amongst themselves for ruler-ship, and my other children were too young." He took another sip.

"Now I was forced to continue another term, making me known as the tyrant that refuses to give up his power," he mourned.

They have terms of ruling in Vladstøck? Sir Guiney thought. If his memory of the history books served him well, no king of Vladstøck ever survived longer than 3 years, save for Drahardur. He had also expended the original country of Vladstøck considerably. Sir Guiney then vaguely remembered that he had read somewhere that Drahardur extended the length of the term whenever he felt like it. He then ruled for so long he became known as the Vampire Emperor, because everyone had forgotten that he originally was a king.

Drahardur finished his flask, and revealed another one. "Now where were we... Oh yes, your father werr, or his proper name Werrharmur, ran away. I only found out he was in the Empire of Transcendence a few years ago, I thought he died long ago."

He half-way emptied his new flask, of which [insert name] was quite sure it didn't contain any alcoholic beverage.

"Ah, thinking about this makes me thirsty. You know, now that you mentioned it, I did sent an army to invade this Empire about ten-something years ago... I assume he found a family who took him in when he had run away, and he went fighting with his foster-father..." Drahardur mused.

That was relatively short

[Zain]

I would love to look at the PDF <3 You can send it to my email~ :]

And I LOVE the front cover! Though I think we should add the Transcendence stamp and make it look like the "Offical Spam Story Of Transcendence" And I think the pic fills too much of the page, would you mind making it a little smaller? >.<

Purple Guiney! <3

Hmm, for episode 2, we can show a clash of [insert name]'s face and his grandfather's face, in front of a dramatic background because it implies great emotional struggle between them..? Lol, I don't know what's going to happen later on, but it's going to be about them, so might as well display them on the cover!

Yeah, [insert name] can get pretty annoying Here are some names*:

Wemmy (after werr and Tam Tam)
Dante
Tom

....Okay I guess I am not really good at coming up with name

*This is just for the purpose of this story.

Back to the story!

[insert name] thought back to all the days he had spent with his father, from childhood to now. Never had Werr shown any vampire characteristics or qualities. None. Had he been suppressing his abilities in front of [insert name], or maybe even the whole kingdom all this time?

[insert name] had never felt so betrayed. The boy found himself drained of all the energy he had previously held.

Sir Guiney interuppted the awkward silence. "Then...why doesn't [insert name] have that mark on his neck?"

"That's probably because werr married a human, his mother. So [insert name] is only half vampire."

[insert name] jerked at the mention of his mother. Did she know about all this, or was she deceived as well? His thoughts were then broken yet again, but this time by Drahardur.

"Don't think too much about all this, boy. It'll only make your head hurt."

"What right do you have to say that? You're the one who caused it!" Sir Guiney butted in.

"No, no, it's okay," [insert name] nodded toward Sir Guiney. "I just have on question." He looked over at Drahardur. "How did you know I was your grandson if you've never seen me before?"

Drahardur took a sip from his flask before answering, and then cleared his throat. "Good question. Well, you look a lot like him. and you share a lot of his good qualities, like courage and honesty."

It was truel [insert name] possessed the same rich, brown hair that his father had. They also shared the same blue eyes.

"Enough about family matters," Sir Guiney said. "So what about this war you are declaring on us?"

[Evory]

I've send the PDF to you Zain, have fun reading/checking.

About the name of [insert name]: I'm calling him TB (for 'Transcendence Baby') in my mind, so I thought a name that would suit those initials. I googled 'character name', and the first hit I had was a 'character name generator', for Dungeons&Dragons RPG. I filled in the form (first&last letter real name 'T' and 'E', first letter last name 'B', character is male, race is elf (would suit him the best I think...) character's class is 'fighter', profession is 'other', he's a noble, and his fame is 10). I waited with bated breath as I clicked 'GENERATE NAME', hoping that the [insert name]-thing could finally be solved. And the result was...: *highlight* Thoendithas Bearcharger.

First reaction: ribs cracked from keeping in laugher (everyone in the house is asleep)
Second reaction: head hurts for banging it at the desk when I could barely stop my laughter.
Third reaction: rubbing on the sore spots after rolling on the floor, trying to muffle my laughter with a pillow.

As you may guess, it was not such a success.

Refusing to yield, I looked for a guide with meanings of names, and clicked all the names that began with a T, and ended with an E.

Here's the list:

Tane Means "man" in Maori. In Maori and other Polynesian mythology, Tane was the god of forests and light. He created the tui bird and, by some accounts, man.
Teague Anglicized form of Tadhg. Means "poet" in Irish. This was the name of an 11th-century king of Connacht.
Teige Anglicized form of Tadhg.
Teigue Anglicized form of Tadhg.
Telesphore French form of the Greek name (Telesphoros) which means "bringing fulfillment" or "bearing fruit". Saint Telesphorus was a 2nd-century pope and martyr.
Temitope Means "enough to give thanks" in Yoruba.
Temple From a surname which originally belonged to a person who was associated with the Knights Templar, a medieval religious military order.
Terance Variant of Terence
Terence From the Roman family name Terentius which is of unknown meaning. Famous bearers include Publius Terentius Afer, a Roman playwright, and Marcus Terentius Varro, a Roman scholar. It was also borne by several early saints. The name was used in Ireland as an Anglicized form of Toirdhealbhach, but it was not in use as an English name until the late 19th century.
Terje Norwegian variant of Torgeir. From the Old Norse name Þórgeirr, which meant "Thor's spear" from the name of the Norse god Þórr (see Thor) combined with geirr "spear".
Terrance  Variant of Terence
Terrel (I found this when I mis-clicked Terrance. I thought the stubborn thing was funny.) From an English surname which was probably derived from the Norman French nickname tirel "to pull", referring to a stubborn person. It may sometimes be given in honour of civil rights activist Mary Church Terrell (1863-1954).
Tevye Yiddish form of Tobiah. From the Hebrew name (Toviyyah) which meant "Yahweh is good". This was the name of an Ammonite in the Book of Nehemiah in the Old Testament.
Thane From the Scottish and English noble title, which was originally from Old English thegn.
Theodore From the Greek name (Theodoros), which meant "gift of god" from Greek (theos) "god" and (doron) "gift". This was the name of several saints, including Theodore of Amasea, a 4th-century Greek soldier; Theodore of Tarsus, a 7th-century archbishop of Canterbury; and Theodore the Studite, a 9th-century Byzantine monk. It was also borne by two popes.
This was a common name in classical Greece, and, due to both the saints who carried it and the favourable meaning, it came into general use in the Christian world, being especially popular among Eastern Christians. It was however rare in Britain before the 19th century. Famous bearers include three tsars of Russia (in the Russian form Fyodor), American president Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) and American children's book creator Theodore Seuss Geisel (1904-1991), better known as Dr. Seuss.
Theophile French form of Theophilus. Latinized form of the Greek name (Theophilos) which meant "friend of god", derived from (theos) "god" and (philos) "friend". In the New Testament the evangelist Luke addresses his gospel and the Book of Acts to a man named Theophilus.
Thutmose Means "son of Thoth", composed of the name of the Egyptian god Thoth combined with the word mes "son" or mesu "be born". Thutmose was the name of four Egyptian pharaohs of the New Kingdom, including Thutmose III who conquered Syria and Nubia.
Tinashe Means "God is with us" in Shona.
Tipene Maori form of Stephen. From the Greek name (Stephanos) meaning "crown". Saint Stephen was a deacon who was stoned to death, as told in Acts in the New Testament, and he is regarded as the first Christian martyr. Due to him, the name became common in the Christian world. It was popularized in England by the Normans.
This was the name of kings of England, Serbia, and Poland, as well as ten popes. It was also borne by the first Christian king of Hungary (10th century), who is regarded as the patron saint of that country. More recent bearers include British physicist Stephen Hawking (1942-) and the American author Stephen King (1947-).

Now I... still have absolutely no idea

On towards simpler matters: The story.

Drahardur waved away this question. "I'm not idiotic enough to divulge all my combat-strategies to an enemy. The thing that really matters now is... will [insert name] and werr return home?" His attempt to sound dramatic was almost, but not quite, a complete failure. It might be because he was looking at the table and plucking on a splinter of wood while asking, making him look like a sulking child that didn't get his way.

"No I won't. This is my home. I live here. I'm going to be the Royal Emperor." [insert name] said calmly.

"There are homes in Vlad... wait, what? Royal Emperor? You?" Drahardur stared at him in disbelief, and then started laughing.

"You? A Royal Emperor? Of what? Your tree-house? Hahahahaaa!" Drahardur slammed his fist on the table out of pure mirth, snapping it cleanly in two. "This isn't the time for jokes boy." He chuckled. "I'm talking about the real deal. Come back to Vladstøck, and you'll become a real Emperor after your father and me."

"No I'm not going to Vladstøck. I'm going to become the Royal Emperor of the Empire of Transcendence." [insert name] persisted.

Drahardur looked at Sir Guiney, still chuckling. "You, fur-ball. You're his traveling companion right? You really should let him know that he mustn't tell such ridiculous lies."

"He's not lying. I am Sir Guiney, Head Knight of the Royal Empire, here to protect [insert name] and judge whether or not he has the capability to become the Heir of the Empire, and by extension, become the Royal Emperor." Sir Guiney answered in a slightly miffed tone. He was used to be called huge, fluffy or furry, but fur-ball was just one step too far.

Drahardur was silent for a short moment, but then threw his head back and roared with laughter. "HAHAHAHAAA, I understand where [insert name] gets it from. You, the fur-ball, a knight? Don't make me laugh! Although I'm already laughing." He chortled.

[Insert name] had enough of it. "I don't really see what's so amusing about it."

"I said he shouldn't make me laugh, but..."

"Yes, I got that, but I don't see what's so amusing about me being the Heir of the Empire, and Sir Guiney being the Head Knight." [insert name] continued.

"Well... He's a guinea-pig for one... albeit a huge one. And you're just a boy." Drahardur looked at him. "I don't think your even eighteen yet."

"I'm going to be seventeen in ... wait, that's not the point. Why do you think I can't be the Heir of the Empire?" [insert name] was slightly hurt. Everyone, from his parents to random strangers, told him they immediately knew he was going to be a great Emperor. Now this fake-granddad (he still couldn't accept it) didn't believe both him and Sir Guiney. He realized he was being a little childish, but Drahardur's comment still stung.

Meanwhile, Drahardur had pulled out a handsome golden clockwork and looked at the time. "It has become quite an interesting conversation," he said in a bored tone, "but I'm afraid you must decide now. Will you come to Vladstøck with me?"

"No! I won't! How many times do I need to tell you?!" [Insert name] lost his patience, and contemplated violence against the nuisance.

Drahardur sighed. "That's really too bad." He stood up, put away his flask and tied his cloak properly. He opened the door, but turned around before he left. "I thought this would have gone peacefully, but you're more stubborn then I thought." He gestured to the 50+ cloaked men waiting outside. "I hate having to resort to this." He looked at his troops. "Capture the boy and sedate him. Kill the rest." He turned back to the stunned crowd. "It's been nice knowing you all, Adios. Goodbye, Sir Furball." And with a dramatic swish of his cloak, he disappeared.

Ah, another long one... But I love the ending. Drahardur's finally gone bad-ass .

I just realized he's the first antagonist character I created (The Dark Warrior doesn't really count, it was just a stick figure of evil XD), and I like him more than the protagonist O_O.

[Tammy]

Wow, this is really turning into something special. As for the names, I likie:
Teague
Terrel

And Dante's not that bad.

Should ask Werr what he wants. :3

And the other one are also really good.
And LOL at the name genertator!!!! Bearcharger!!!!! ROFLMAO!

Wow, awesome story! And from such humble beginnings too. ^^
I wonder how this is going to end?

And by the way, Werr might be a vampire, but I'm a pheonix.(<--is currently obsessed with sirens, pheonixes, fae, and that sort of thing. 

[Evory]

I'm pretty sure we can put your phoenix-identity in it somehow... Like [insert name] suddenly showing some of his parents characteristics in a dire situation... *starts speculating*

And/Or the next episode will be the fantastic love story of the runaway vampire and a beautiful phoenix (who is capable of transforming into a human). While their love is pure, they are torn apart by their prejudices and honor *is rambling now*, but are unintentionally aided by the vampire's sister, who wants to bring her brother back because she misses him/lost her hobby of tormenting him...

*ponders...*

Yeah, it could work.

[Zain]

I really like Dante, too :D
And ROFL at the name generator! I laughed a good ten seconds XD
I also like Terrance~ ^^

Okay, story time.


As soon as Drahardur had left, the fifty cloaked henchman did not hesitate. While originally a few hundred feet from them, they were no more more than a few yards away now. They formed a enclosed circle around Sir Guiney and [insert name], and were coming closer, still. With fifty pairs of legs gaining on them, the two had to think fast.

Sir Guiney quickly unsteathed his sword, his only weapon, and shoved [insert name] behind him. "Defend yourself while I kill off these nuisances!"

[insert name] immediately reached to his side to grab his sword, but all he felt was was an empty case. Panic rose within him. I forgot my sword at the hostel! he thought. He stared at all the men with swords around him. How was he to defend himself now?

Thinking quickly, he grabbed his empty from his side and held it like a sword. I can use this, he thought. Not much, but I need all the protection I can get.

Sir Guiney was prepared to protect the heir no matter what it cost. With this in mind, he lashed at the men before him. Sword met sword, and his experience was paying off. None of them were as skilled as he. With ten men down, he looked back at [insert name] and found him fighting them off with a case! What is he doing?! thought Sir Guiney.

[insert name] noticed Sir Guiney look at him, and looked back in his direction. And suddenly his eyes grew wide with terror. "Look out!" [insert name] screamed.

[BakaScarlet]

* BakaScarlet breaks the flow of the story.

[Zain]

This was originally a spam section, so you can break the flow all you want XD

We're going to release it in the fanfiction section as a whole, anyway

[Tammy]

*Is one of your fans* O_O

[Zain]

Aww, Tammy <3
Thanks for supporting the story!

[Diaya]

runing

[Evory]

I had no idea what to do at first. Make them win, make them lose... I had ideas for both. But suddenly, I was struck by a sudden inspiration. What if... *I'm being annoying because I'm not completing this sentence*

...

On with the story:

One of the vampire-henchmen Sir Guiney had disarmed and severely wounded, suddenly leaped up. His red eyes were raging with the madness of the thirst that his blood-loss had caused. Without thinking, without any common sense, he jumped onto Sir Guiney's back and went straight for his neck. Sir Guiney was too surprised to realize what was happening, and when he caught on, it was too late: the vampire's fangs were already deeply pierced into Sir Guiney's furry neck.

"AAAAAAHHHHRRGGGG!"

Sir Guiney was powerless. He couldn't do anything. The vampire was exactly in the one place his short paws couldn't reach. Desperate, he rolled over and over again, flattening more than 20 henchmen in the progress. But the crazed vampire didn't let go, even though he was squashed several times. [insert name] ran across the battlefield, and grabbed the sword Sir Guiney had dropped in his panic. With a few well-aimed slashes, faster than the eye could see, he had both beheaded and dismembered Sir Guiney's attacker.

Sir Guiney felt rather anemic as the world spun in front of his eyes. He was in no condition to fight. [insert name] also didn't feel too well. The huge amount of blood that Sir Guiney and the human and vampire warriors had spilled across the field was also making him sort of dizzy... It was a sensation he had never felt, having never been exposed to so much blood before. He realized what it was, because he could almost feel his eyes burning red. And the scent...

However, [insert name]'s inner struggle was but a small part of the big doo-doo Sir Guiney and he were in. Having sensed that they now could easily take the upper hand, the 20 still able-bodied men had surrounded the weak Sir Guiney and [insert name]. One of the henchmen stepped forward, and they recognized him as the first one that spoke to [insert name] by his deep voice:

"Surrender, young man and knight,
You can no longer fight.
The Emperor may spare your lives,
So drop your knifes.
Now you belong to the Ruler of the Moonlight!"

Is that another one of Drahardur's silly nicknames? Sir Guiney thought dully. And is he too stupid to realize the difference between a knife and a sword? We only have one anyway... Sir Guiney felt that he was slowly slipping into unconsciousness. With his last strength he said:

"We will never yield,
For it is to no one I've ever kneeled."

I suppose it's true, as I'm physically incapable of kneeling...

"For we still have a secret,
A weapon never used before
With this we shall reach the summit,
With your corpses galore!"

What the hell am I talking about? I hope [insert name] knows... These were Sir Guiney's last thoughts before he slipped into unconsciousness.

[Insert name] had no idea what Sir Guiney was talking about. But, if we're going to die anyway, he reasoned, I'd better make it good...

"That's right!
We do have a secret weapon!
So quit with this fight!
Sounds like a fair bargain!"

[insert name] was feeling rather giddy. And thirsty. But mostly giddy.

"Where is this weapon of yours?
Speak you eyesores!" Boomed henchman #1. [insert name] didn't say anything. He couldn't think of anything to rhyme.

"I see you have none,
Except your sword.
We'll soon have you floored,
Attack my brethren!"

Being caught off guard and not really in his best state of mind, [insert name] was quickly disarmed by henchman #1. While #1 moved on to kill the unconscious Sir Guiney, other henchmen went to tie up [insert name]. He looked helplessly when he saw the sword rise, about to stab Sir Guiney, and did the only thing he could do...

"Stop!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

You can imagine how utterly flabbergasted henchman #1 was when his hands had stopped moving on their own accord.

Another long one...

Confirmed fans: 1

[Tammy]

Ooh, is that a cliffhanger? Nice.
*waits for next installment*

[Shiki]

LOL you guys should copy/paste all of what you have now in a word document and name it Volume 1! With chapters if you want! ;D And upload it on media fire and give us the link! It will be easier to read everything without changing pages on the forum ><"

[Evory]

I've posted the first Episode (The Dark Warrior And The Guinea-Pig) in the Fanfiction topic, here.

We'll keep writing the story here, but we'll put the finished releases there. You can also comment on it there =D

[Zain]

Ah, I know I've been taking my time with this, but that's because I wanted it to come out the way I wanted it to sound. But I think I am pleased with it now~

---

It caught [insert name] by complete surprise. A word on impulse had actually saved Sir Guiney from dying! And he knew better than to just stare blankly at the henchman and not take advantage of this opportunity. With a few swift movements, he evaded the man attacking him, approached the one by Sir Guiney, and slashed his back.

"AH!" The henchman's scream was deafening but short, and before long, he fell to the ground, motionless.

[insert name], noticing the other henchmen quickly catching up from behind him, knew that there was no time to waste. He bent down to take a look at Sir Guiney. His neck was smothered in blood, and his breathing was very heavy. [insert name] felt utterly lost without him fighting by his side.

Carefully, he tried to pick up Sir Guiney with all his might, but alas, his great height was only a nuisance now. I can't do this, [insert name] thought, and let the guiney pig rest on the floor again, as the henchman approached him...with two swords!

This...How?! [insert name] thought, as he began to back away, standing in front of Sir Guiney so that he may come to no harm. He accidentally stumbled on the henchman that he had killed.

And this henchman's sword was no where to be seen. Only then did he realize that this man must have picked it up which he was looking away. Thinking fast, he brought out his empty case again—now both had an equal number of arms. Only his case could do nothing more than defend, but that was good enough for now.

"Hah! Now we play fair.
Of my fearsome attacks, beware!" declared the bold [insert name]

The henchman scoffed.
"If you were to defeat me,
It would be a miracle, you see,
For I am the strongest of all,
So, it will be you who falls."

This time it was [insert name]'s turn to laugh. "We'll see, we'll see," and without further ado, he thrashed his sword toward the henchman with all his might.

There was a loud "clash!" and it was blocked. It caught [insert name] off guard, but he continued to attack. He lashed at him from this side, lashed at him from that side, and even striked him from behind, but they had all been blocked, almost effortlessly.

[insert name] thought it not better time than to play tricks. After all, the other henchman listened to his senseless outburst, and perhaps it would work on this man here.

"Look! Drahardur is back!" cried [insert name] and pointed behind the man's shoulder.

Impulsively, the man looked over in that direction. "Where?"

In seconds, the young boy had managed to injure the henchman in several and he fell down, whimpering slowly, softly, until it faded away into the dark night.

"Problem solved." [insert name] breathed in a couple of times to really appreciate the silence, and remembered there was quite a predicament at hand. He glanced back over to Sir Guiney, all covered in blood, and losing even more by the second.

"What to do? Oh, what to do?" his mind was racing. But suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he caught the sight of a shiny object. He went over to pick it up, and in his hand was an intricate little key.

[Evory]

Ooooh a key... a mysterious key... what to do with it? *Has no idea*

I'll think of something someday...

Meanwhile, the Vampire Emperor himself was sitting in a large oak tree, only a few hundred feet away from the battle, covered by the darkness. He could clearly see the battle with his sharp eyes, but had binoculars at the ready to catch the details. Why would he teleport to some distant place, when he could safely watch the battlefield from here?

He was somewhat sad that he lost 50 good fighters, but he would be more disappointed if [insert name] and Sir Furball wouldn't have been able to take them on. He was confident that they could. And [insert name] even found the key that they dropped on his orders! Drahardur was feeling rather proud of his grandson. He knew that [insert name]'s curiosity for the key would lead him to Vladstøck. Soon, he'd be home...

But now he was more interested in Sir Furball's fate. He had lost a lot of blood, but if you compared it to his size, he'd probably survive. No, the wound wouldn't be fatal. It was the fact that he was bitten by a vampire.

A very long time ago, it was a dream of the vampires to create super-races of animals that would obey them. They realized if they bit humans, they would turn into vampires, or in other words, get super powers. But what would happen if they bit animals? They had conducted several experiments. Lions, bears, tigers and a lot of other big predators... They all died, even if the wound wasn't dangerous. They only success they had was with wolves.

But what would happen if you bit a guinea-pig? Drahardur was confident no-one had ever tried that before. Who would want a guinea-pig with super powers? And Sir Furball wasn't an ordinary guinea-pig... He was very curious what would happen to him.

"Yuck Ev, I'm completely covered in gore!"

Drahardur almost fell out of the tree. He knew that voice. It came from a woman wearing purple cloak. He turned his binoculars to them, trying to confirm his suspicion. There were two other women beside her, wearing a silver and a deep blue cloak. All three of them were splattered with blood and other things of which Drahardur probably didn't want to know what it was. Drahardur was puzzled. Why would the three Royal Empresses be here?

(Yay we're finally making an appearance again!)

"Please don't call me 'Ev' Xye. Would you've rather have been killed by them?" The beautiful woman wearing the silver cloak replied. Her hood was down, exposing her blood-splattered pale face and her long blond blood-stained hair waving to the small of her back. She was holding an antique scythe and an impressive sword, also soaked in blood. She turned to look at Xye and the woman wearing the blue cloak. Drahardur noticed her eyes changed to all kinds of colors even during this small movement.

"You know quite well we can defend ourself sufficiently," said the one identified as Xye, "but I don't see why you need to make such a bloodbath out of it."

Only now, Drahardur remembered he had said to 'kill the rest', which meant that everyone in the hostel should be killed. Apparently, some of his men tried to fulfill that order, but met a rather gruesome fate...

"But it's fun!" The one wearing the silver cloak replied with an innocent expression. "Didn't you see the blood squirt out of that guy, when I made a small cut in his aorta? Awesome right? And you could clearly see the intestines sprouting out when I sliced open his belly. And when I beheaded that other one, there were..."

Drahardur was feeling slightly nauseous.

"Please stop it Evory. I'm think I'm going to puke. Don't you value life?" The blue cloaked replied.

"Oh come on Zain, they're vampires. You know that if you don't stab them with a blessed stake in the heart they won't die, but just be knocked out? They do need some help from another vampire to regain consciousness though. And in this case, they'll be missing several body parts until they've been regrown..."

"Of course I know, I just think it's a rather gruesome way to die." Zain said.

"I'm just satisfying some biological interests. With the distance the blood squirted, you can determine the pressure of his blood inside his veins, though admittedly you need to know the exact volume of the vein and the size of the gap and several other variables, and..."

"That won't do him much good if he's dead, you know." Xye replied dryly. "But I suppose it's better if you use your medical knowledge on poor Sir Guiney over there. And please don't torture him."

"I never tortured anyone!" Evory huffed, and went to help Sir Guiney. The other two followed her, their hoods falling of on the way. Zain...

BTW, I really am pale and blond, but my hair is not that long (I couldn't resist beautifying myself XD). It is kinda wavy. My eye-color can be interpreted as both blue, green and gray, and there's a dark brown circle around the pupil, so you could say the changing eye-color is also true. I'm not too sure about the violent tendencies, but I do have an interest in biology and anatomy... Okay Zain, it's your turn to describe the Royal Empress Zain (you don't have to stick to reality... be imaginative XD). I don't know what to do for Xye... should we ask her what she wants to look like in the story? Or just do whatever we want? All three the Empresses are beautiful in my mind unless you decide differently...

edit: The Royal Empress Xye has yellow eyes and brown hair. Xye is now drawing a doodle of it. She's also making one of Dante

[Tammy]

You could use Xye's avatar as reference.
Though i'm not sure, is it Gackt?
Lol, I don't think Xye would mind looking like Gackt in the story.

[Evory]

The cover for the first part of [insert name]'s story is available here

[Mithril]

Oh gosh~ what did I miss?? My name's green already >__< lol
Anyway~~~ check out this site  http://www.websiteoutlook.com/www.our-transcendence.com

our-transcendence.com Estimated Worth $1284.8 USD

lmao/

[Tammy]

Wow. O.O
We're rich!
*throws confetti*

[Mithril]

Should be worth a billion coz we have the coolest staff ever~~~ lol

[Tammy]

yeah, that's right! We're just that awesome! Which is why people should join us!
(Wait, can the public see this thread?)

[Shiki]

Yup! They can see this thread!

our-transcendence.com Estimated Worth $1284.8 USD = Awesomeness!!!! We should add this to "Transcendence Stats!" thread made by Nicole!

And I just noticed that this thread was moved to the forum game section as well LOL

[Diaya]

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

[Evory]

Were at $1773.9 USD now...

And if anyone's interested, I've sorta... rewritten the Fanstastic Spam Story (partially, not done yet). I wrote a bit every time I was bored or couldn't sleep. I only did the first two chapters (The Fairytale Continues... - The First Two Tasks) which are originally 343 words long. I've rewritten it into Preface - Chapter One: Heir of the Empire - Chapter Two: The First Two Tasks, and it's... 2749 words long. I managed this by writing it into the same style as the second half of the story, more like dialog than narration.

I'm not too sure if I should post it without Zain knowing about it... But I decided to share it anyway (it's not proofread btw), and continue if it's liked and if I feel like it, and remove if anyone protests.

SO HERE IT IS:

=REWRITING THE FANTASTIC SPAM STORY=

-PREFACE-

"Zain, I'm so bo-hored"!

Zain instinctively ducked, and the heavy book ("Why Quantum-physics isn't hard at all") narrowly missed her head.

"And does throwing books at me help you solve that problem?" She asked at the book-thrower, her fellow Royal Empress Evory.

"Well... for a few seconds... yes." She answered dryly. "But it doesn't solve the original problem of me being bored again."

Zain sighed, and against better judgment, started the same argument they'd had numerous times the last few weeks.

"You still have to work on THAT." she gestured towards the steadily growing pile of official looking letters. "Just because Xye is working abroad..."

"Working abroad my ass, she's on her gazillionth honeymoon with her royal prince*!" Evory muttered.
(*The spouses of the Royal Empresses become royal princes, not Royal Emperors, (and vice verse, the spouses of Royal Emperors become royal princesses) because the spouse does not have ruling privileges*)

Zain continued as though she wasn't interrupted. "...doesn't mean we don't have to do our jobs as Empresses anymore. I suggest you had better get started, because that pile will only grow faster if you don't answer them."

"Nah, I'm too busy."

"Evory..."

"I don't wanna..." But she could no longer complain, because Zain had just given her her famous death glare, causing the Royal Empress Evory to meekly take her chair at the desk, picking up a letter, and trying to attentively read it for about two-and-a-half seconds. After that, her gaze wandered around the Royal Library, picked one of the books at random ("All Inhabitants of the Continent sorted both Alphabetically and by Family Relations") and started reading another book she had already memorized. Zain didn't really care, at least she would be quiet for a while now...

But the silence lasted shorter than she expected.

"Zain..."

"what?" Zain said, looking up from her complex budget calculations.

"I was thinking..."

"You shouldn't, you might hurt yourself."

"Oh, haha." Evory rolled her eyes. "I was thinking about what will happen if we're no longer here."

That was quite a serious subject for Evory to be worrying about, especially considering that it was completely unnecessary as the Royal Empressees were immortal, and couldn't die of old age, disease or be killed in any known way. However, it did catch Zain's interest.

"What do you mean 'If we're no longer here'?"

"You know, we've been in office for an awful long time already - Xye even longer - and will be for a long time to come. Don't you think we won't get tired of all this one day?" she gestured vaguely towards the pile of letters and the room. Zain had to admit she never even thought about it. "So what's your idea?" she asked cautiously, being aware of Evory's previous crazy schemes.

Evory stood up, grinning widely. "You just wait and see." And she positively stormed out of the library, glad to have a remedy against the boredom (and a possibility to procrastinate her work), leaving Zain with an uneasy foreboding...

-END PREFACE-

-CHAPTER ONE: HEIR OF THE EMPIRE-

"Dante! Dante! Look at this!"

Tammy, Dante's mother, burst into his room with a large poster.

Dante looked at it wearily. "Do I want to know what that is?" He certainly hoped it didn't have anything to do with his fan club down at the village, they'd given him more trouble than he wanted to think about right now...

"Of course you want to know!" Tammy unrolled the poster, which had almost completely illegible curly handwriting all over it. "The Royal Empresses are looking for an heir!"

"What? Why would they want an heir, aren't they immortal?"

"...There's a reason on the poster, but I can't read it. But that's not the point! You are the number one favorite candidate from the entire state of Forugamea!" His mother beamed.

"But I didn't even apply or campaign!" Dante protested. He had a nasty foreboding...

"Don't worry, those lovely ladies down at the village will take care of EVERYTHING." As she kissed the top of his head. "My little boy, a Royal Emperor... I can't believe it, how wonderful!" as she danced out of the room, leaving Dante thoroughly confused.

***

Being a Royal Emperor huh... Now that the first shock had worn off, Dante couldn't help but imagine it. It was something every kid dreamed about, to rule Transcendence of even the entire Continent as a valiant Emperor or beautiful Empress, but learn as an adult that it's impossible. Now that he had the opportunity, he'd be a really fool not to take it!

"I'm going to be the first Royal Emperor!" He said out loud to himself, and loved the sound of it.

Unfortunately for our hero, he still has a very long way to go...

***THREE DAYS LATER...***

"Unsurprisingly, Dante Tammyson of Transcendence's largest state Forugamea has won the nation-wide elections of heir of the empresses with 95% of the votes, which about equals the female population of Transcendence. Not on with the weather. There will be mild showers and..."

Dante never heard the bored drone of the news-announcer, because he was already at the palace, where he would be given details of his 'Heirship'. He waited impatiently, for the one who would bestow his title upon him. He didn't need to wait long. There were footsteps in the hallway, that weren't really footsteps. They sound he heard was as close to footsteps as an off-key trumpet note was as close to a mosquito hum. They shook the very firmaments of the palace. The owner of the footsteps walked in, and if Dante hadn't been so aware of his poise, his jaw would have dropped. In front of him was a guinea-pig. Not just a guinea-pig but, but an eight feet tall guinea-pig. That was purple. The guinea-pig cleared his throat: "I am Sir Guiney, Head Knight of the order of the Transcended Warriors."

A TALKING Guiney-Pig (and yes, with capitals)? That was the Head Knight? Dante hid his surprise remarkably well, and said, smiling: "Hello Sir Guiney, I am Dante Tammyson, soon to be the first Royal Emperor."

"Royal Emperor? Not quite yet, lad." Sir Guiney chuckled. "That's the reason I'm here."

"What do you mean? Did something go wrong with the elections?"

"No, the elections were fool-proof."

"Why can't I be the Royal Emperor already then?!"

"Because you still need to pass some tests before you can become the Heir of the Empire, who can become the Royal Emperor." Sir Guiney explained.

"Tests?! And what do you mean 'Heir of the Empire'?! I thought the elections were about who would become the Royal Emperor!" Dante said outraged. What was this 'Heir of the Empire' nonsense?

"Well, you can't become the Royal Emperor yet because the Royal Empresses are still ruling, and the test are only to check if you are worthy of becoming a Royal Emperor. If you pass them, you will become the Royal Emperor the moment all the Royal Empresses step down."

"..." If you thought about it logically it made sense.

"But that's not everything. We shall also test if you can take my position."

"What?! Why?!" Dante wasn't prepared for this.

"I may not look it, but I'm also gaining years and I'm not immortal. There was a sub-category in the elections for the position of Head Knight, which you've also won."

How can you determine the age of a Guiney-Pig? Dante wondered randomly. "Why wasn't I informed of this?"

"It was written on the poster... but to be honest, I couldn't really read it myself, so I guess everyone just voted for you to be the Head Knight as well as Royal Emperor because no one campaigned for it..."

"..." The moment I'm Royal Emperor I'm going to fire the one who wrote those posters, Dante thought. Or teach them how to write. But there were more pressing matters.

"What exactly are those test?"

"There are seven in total, I get to think up four, aimed to train you, each of the three Royal Empresses also think up one task. I don't know exactly what they'll test. I accompany you with all tasks, and I shall give the Empresses my advice whether you are worthy or not, and they will decide."

It doesn't sound too bad. Dante thought. He would start with training first, so if it was too hard, he could back out... could he?

"If... I'm unable to do these tasks, what will become of me?"

"Nothing special, you can always refuse, but you won't become Emperor."

Perfect.

"Alright, when can I begin?"

I will be Heir of the Empire before you know it!

***

"What do you think Zain? Do you think he's up to it?" Evory said. They were both listening at the door, because the palace designer had most inconveniently forgotten to put a secret passage or room covered by a painting in that one chamber.

"He seems enthusiastic and willing, but he still needs a lot of grooming."

"Yeah, he's got a bit of a temper." Evory agreed.

"Well, his temper is RELATIVELY   alright, but he lacks bravery. I think I know how what my task is going to be..." Zain mused.

"What is it?" Evory inquired.

"Not telling" Zain grinned. "Now it's MY turn to create a mysterious cliffhanger!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, never mind, I had an out-of-story-experience."

"..."

-CHAPTER TWO: THE FIRST TWO TASKS-

"So... how does this work again?"

Dante was awkwardly holding his finally strung bow and arrow, which shook madly because of the tension caused by the strength required to keep the tendon stretched. (If you ever attempted archery, you know what I'm talking about.)

"Start by not pointing it at me!"

But Dante couldn't hold on any longer, and let go before he could properly aim. Luckily this time, Sir Guiney was prepared and was able to dodge just in time, but he still got a cut.

"That's the fifteenth time! Concentrate! Train your arm muscles! Anything!" Cried Sir Guiney. "I'm going to get this healed, keep practicing. I want at least one arrow on the board before I return!" Sir Guiney left, looking like a giant purple pincushion, leaving Dante behind in the field full of arrows.

Dante, tired as he was, decided he could afford to sit down for a minute and relax his arms before he made another attempt. He never once thought he would be this lousy at archery. This week, Sir Guiney had told him everything there was to know about archery, the right way to stand, how to string the bow, how to attach the arrow, how to aim, how to fire... but he couldn't do it. He wasn't strong enough.

At home, he rarely had to do any manual labor, because both of his parents were scholars, not farmers or warriors. He had never been very bookish, but he learned easily, and his education had been a breeze. Dante looked at the satchel of arrows, wondering if he should stick one arrow into the board just to please Sir Guiney, but decided against it. Honesty was important to him.

Sighing, Dante got up and added another arrow to the bow and tried again. Somehow, the arrow flew directly upwards, and heard a distinct 'OUCH!' from one of the clergy on the other side of the courtyard. "Sorry!" Dante yelled, but the clergy didn't hear him, as he had already run to the healer inside the palace, safe from the arrows. Dante heard the thundering footsteps of Sir Guiney, and decided desperate measures ought to be taken. He stood two feet from the board, and added a new arrow. He took a deep breath, concentrated, pulled the tendon, aimed, breathed out and released.

The arrow smashed the board to pieces.

"What is this?" Sir Guiney said as he ran over to the vehemently cursing Dante. [Bad Dante! Wash your mouth!] "And what happened to the board?" he asked mildly interested. "It looks like I ran through it."

"...I hit the board. From two feet distance." Dante muttered.

"...Well, at least you hit it." Sir Guiney tried to cheer him up. "It would have been a real bummer if you had missed it from two feet."

"I suppose..."

"Rest for a minute, I'll get a new board."

On his way back to the palace, Sir Guiney quickly admired the shattered pieces of the board. It would have been no easy feat to shatter the 10 inch thick board, even from two feet distance. Sir Guiney felt a little guilty he didn't tell Dante that the Royal Empresses made him use the super-extra-strong bow, which most people couldn't even pull, let alone string and hold long enough to aim. "I wondered what his parents have been feeding him.. even I can't do this." he muttered.

"Did you say anything Sir?"

"Oh, never mind."

***

Weeks passed, and Dante kept practicing for hours, every day, tirelessly, until he even managed to shatter the board from a hundred yards, and hit the bullseye at 500. More than satisfied with his performance, Sir Guiney declared that he had passed the task, and would commence with the second: Sword fighting.

"Great! I had never used a bow before, but I have sparred every now and then with dad! This should be easy" Dante exclaimed. "Who will be my opponent?" Sir Guiney stared at him, as if he missed something very obvious. Slowly, it dawned upon Dante.

"I have to spar... with you?" He said weakly. He looked at the 20 feet tall Guiney-Pig. How could he possibly defeat that? Even if he disregarded the size, how do you spar with a Guiney-Pig?

Dante took his stick (they wouldn't fight with real swords in the beginning), and moved into battle position. Sir Guiney was already waiting for him. Wasting no time, Dante immediately attacked, but when he got near, all he saw suddenly was black...

***

"I'm so sorry Dante, I didn't mean to hit you so hard." Sir Guiney apologized for the five-hundred-thirty-second time.

"It's okay, I survived.

"Do you think you will be recovered by next week?"

"I guess..."

Sir Guiney left the hospital ward after Dante fell asleep only to find the royal Empresses standing in the hallway, trying (and miserably failing) at being inconspicuous.

"My Royal Highnesses! What on earth are you doing here?"

"Checking up on Dante of course!" Zain replied.

"Checking how long he will survive so I can win the bet!" Evory replied simultaneously.

Luckily, Sir Guiney couldn't hear what she said due to the simultaneousness of her answer, and left muttering something about "I guess it's Royal business only..."

When he was out of earshot, Evory sneaked into the ward, and checked up on Dante. "Dang, he survived pretty well, he might even live through the tasks..."

"Is that bad?"

"It is if you bet 50 billion Transcendollars against that outcome."

"... Where did you get the money from?"

"Uhm... no where..." Evory quickly replied "Just from the state treasury..." she added in a small tone.

"Evory..." Zain, who covered the finances of the Empire, couldn't contain her anger, and the Royal Empress Evory fled from the hospital with Zain hot on her heels.

***

Life continued much in the same fashion for Dante. He sparred every day with Sir Guiney, sometimes got knocked unconscious and needing to recover in the hospital, but steadily improved his skills with a blade. After two months, and two hours of sparring, he did something no one had predicted: he managed to disarm Sir Guiney, thereby winning the battle for the first time. When he repeated the same feat another 5 times, Sir Guiney declared that he had passed the task, much to the relief of Dante and Zain, who had to cover the medical bills.

-CHAPTER THREE: QUEST FOR APPLES-

...
end of story so far

[Furgeson]

Evory! 

[Evory]

Furgeson!!

(why are you crying btw?)

[Furgeson]

*pokes Evi. I'm Lily. (sniffle. She got my name wrong! Am I so inconspicious?)

Your majesty, oh!, you highness! My most glorious empress, whose beauty shines on me benevolently, whose beauty glows more than Xye's hair, whose kindness can move mountains, Oh Gloria!,
I am crying because your mere presence gives me so much joy that it brings me to tears...

Anxious to see it be continued~ *grips seat tightly... T___T* This is exciting...
You should totally blog this on the site. Every month, add a chapter! We'll get more views,
and more donations. Yey! (Current annual salary: $70 >.< Ugh.)

[harimeexD]

....and so the giant carnivorous hamster pooped on all the bad guys till they drowned and everyone lived happily ever after. 

[Evory]

(Dang harimee, how did you guess the ending? Now I have to think of something new...)

For the newbies, here's the prequel:

The fantastic SPAM-story Episode I - The Dark Warrior And The Guinea-Pig.

And here's the original beginning:

Heir Of The Empire - Part I - The Heir Of The Empire

http://ourtranscendence.com/forum/index.php?topic=1.270 The story continues from there, continuing from post #274 by Zain, and onwards throughout the spam pages.

And here's a small portion of the next chapter of the rewritten style. I wrote it while I was procrastinating chemistry homework.

-CHAPTER THREE: QUEST FOR APPLES-
"I have to do... what?" Dante asked uncertainly.

"Collect all the Apples."

"Apples?"

"Yes."

"With a capital letter?"

"Yes."

"..."

Dante and Sir Guiney were standing in the courtyard, where Sir Guiney explained to him what his third task consisted of.

"How can I tell if I'm dealing with an Apple or an apple?"

"There's no particular difference, except that Apples look and taste like they're made of gold."

"Why would anyone want apples that taste like gold?"

"Beats me. They grow inside a special greenhouse on the grounds, which will be locked while you're completing this task." Sir Guiney added sternly. He knew the boy wouldn't hesitate to cheat if things got desperate.

"So I just have to find these Apples?"

"Yes."

That doesn't sound too bad, Dante thought. "How many are there?"

"Five-hundred."

"FIVE-HUNDRED?!"

"Yes. They can be hidden anywhere inside the palace or grounds..."

DONG! The clock tower started to mark the tenth hour of the day.

"...except in the locked rooms..."

DONG!

"...Royal Empresses' private quarters..."

DONG!

"...or any place..."

DONG

"...you can't reach..."

DONG!

"...without special equipment..."

DONG!

"...that's not present in a 500 yard radius."

DONG!

"And there is a time limit..."

DONG!

"...of twenty-four hours..."

DONG!

"...starting at the final strike of the clock tower..."

DONG!

"...at ten in the morning. Which was about five seconds ago. You still have 86,395 seconds left." Sir Guiney concluded. "Did you understand the task Dante? Dante...?"

Dante was already on the other side of the courtyard, frantically searching through the bushes.

Well, at least he's passionate about it. Sir Guiney liked this task, for he only had to follow Dante, and make sure he didn't cheat. Much better than the first one, where he had the misfortune of being turned into a giant purple pincushion. Or the hours of sword fighting, which had really bothered his joints. No, this task would be pain- and effort-free for him, which was just the way he liked it...

***
"Just a little higher Sir! No, not that much! No, a bit more... Yes! I got it!" Dante triumphantly held up his 269th Apple.

How did it get to this? Sir Guiney wondered. Dante was standing on top of his head, so he could successfully grab the apple which some dork had placed in the top of a tree, without climbable low branches. After failing to find a ladder anywhere in a 500 yard radius, Dante concluded Sir Guiney could be used as a means of elevation, and was within a 500 yard radius.

"So much for a pain- and effort-free task for me..." Sir Guiney whimpered.

"Did you say anything Sir?

"Nothing Dante, nothing..."

***

[harimeexD]

....and the carnivorus hamster came once again but saw that there were no humans and slowly skipped away. 

[Furgeson]

O___o
IT'S A GUNIEA PIG!

(*pokes Empress Evory. What did I say about blogging a chapter of this
every month on our website?!)

[Eri]

woo I love the Apple story!! And Lily is right, this would be great on the future blog. 

[Furgeson]

I loooove EVORY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

[icewing]

O.O.          very....interesting...story.....