The Fantastic SPAM-story

[Evory]

Here is the first installment of the story created in the SPAM topic. We hope you enjoy it

Credits:
Written by: Zain and Evory
Guest Writer: Tammy
Proofread by: Zaind and Evory
Illustrations by: Evory

The Fantastic SPAM-Story: Episode I: The Dark Warrior And The Guinea-Pig

We'll release the next installment when it's finished and proofread (if the illustrations aren't done yet, we'll release another issue with them later). If you can't wait, you can read the unfinished story in the SPAM topic. It starts here, post #259

Please tell us what you think

[Shiki]

I think the link is wrong ><" Somehow it only lends to the homepage of MediaFire! lol

[Evory]

I changed it, try again

[Zain]

Haha, this is so awesome.
Good job, Evory! :D

[drexizle]

what a funny story xD gj you guys ;D!

[Tammy]

Wow. It's so good! How did you make it so good!
yeah, looking through the next installment, it's all so much longer. XD
If you got it published, I'd buy it. :D

[Evory]

$_$

Zain, I smell money...

Don't worry, we'll let all you Transcendence members proofread it for free first .

[Evory]

Ohoh I double posted

But I have some announcements:
I'm considering to split the current episode II into multiple episodes. What do you think? And what should I put on the front covers?

The info about the next episodes (don't read unless you follow the story), most of the names are just the first thing that popped into my head. Please let me know what you think (and some things for the cover): *highlight to read*

The Fantastic SPAM-Story Episode II:
Heir Of The Empire

Synopsis: The Royal Empresses have decided to look for an heir. The result of Empire-wide election was [insert name] the child of werr and Tammy. But he cannot become the Heir Of The Empire before he has completed seven tasks. Will [insert name] be capable of completing these dangerous tasks? Follow [insert name] and Sir Guiney's on their adventures...

Number of pages (at the moment): 3 1/2
Word count (at the moment): 1742

Chapters:
- The Fairytale Continues...
- The First Two Tasks
- Quest For Apples
- The Royal Stables
- The Fourth Task
- The First Obstacle
- The Guardian Of The Bridge
- Something Worth Dying For
- Sir Guiney To The Rescue!
- Barbara's Confession

Status: Completely written, Proofread once by Evory, No Illustrations

The Fantastic SPAM-Story Episode III
Destiny Of Blood

Synopsis: While journeying to complete the fourth task, Sir Guiney and [insert name] have decided to stay for the night at a hostel. But it will be a night they never forget. Why are there so many mysterious cloaked people? Why do they rhyme? Who is the perpetrator of all this? Find out in this Episode!

Number of pages (at the moment): 9
Word count (at the moment): 3846

Chapters:
- The Landlord And Lady Of The Hostel
- The Vampire Emperor
- Drahardur's song
- Grandfather's Tale
- [insert name]'s refusal

Status: Completely written, Proofread once by Evory, No Illustrations

The Fantastic SPAM-Story Episode IV
The Return Of The Empresses

Synopsis: The hostel is under attack! Will [insert name] be captured by Drahardur's henchmen? Will Sir Guiney even survive? And why are the Royal Empresses at the hostel? Don't miss this action packed episode!

Number of pages (at the moment): 5
Word count (at the moment): 2311

Chapters:
- The Battle At The Hostel
- The Art Of Observing
- The Return Of The Empresses

Status: incomplete

The writing style between the second and the third is different. While the first and second only contain narration, the third and fourth episode has have more dialog, making it a lot longer. The song in Episode three that takes up three pages might have something to do with it too...

Please let me know if you have better names XD
*end*

[drexizle]

There's a song !? SWEET :D

[Evory]

I've seriously considered composing the score for it, but I have never composed something that complex before...

[Zain]

Yeah, I think dividing it into several Episodes is much easier because it's getting really long now...
If you want, I could come up with a few illustrations, but I'm a little busy these days (school starts on the 2nd for me, and I have tons of homework still taking up space on my desk -_-;;)

[Evory]

It's okay, we can leave the illustrations for later. School starts the 7th for me AND our school doesn't give homework for the summer, so it's not like I'm drowning in work right now... I just don't have any ideas. .

But you can always provide pictures for me to work with =D. If you really want to make the illustrations, I also have no objections ;)

edit: I really want to give [insert name]/the child of werr and Tammy/the main character a real name before we release the next episodes. It should be a good young-male-hero name...

Names suggested by Zain:
Wemmy (after werr and Tammy)
Dante
Tom

I looked for a guide with meanings of names, and clicked all the names that began with a T, and ended with an E (for TranscendencE).

Here's the list:
Tane Means "man" in Maori. In Maori and other Polynesian mythology, Tane was the god of forests and light. He created the tui bird and, by some accounts, man.
Teague Anglicized form of Tadhg. Means "poet" in Irish. This was the name of an 11th-century king of Connacht.
Teige Anglicized form of Tadhg.
Teigue Anglicized form of Tadhg.
Telesphore French form of the Greek name (Telesphoros) which means "bringing fulfillment" or "bearing fruit". Saint Telesphorus was a 2nd-century pope and martyr.
Temitope Means "enough to give thanks" in Yoruba.
Temple From a surname which originally belonged to a person who was associated with the Knights Templar, a medieval religious military order.
Terance Variant of Terence
Terence From the Roman family name Terentius which is of unknown meaning. Famous bearers include Publius Terentius Afer, a Roman playwright, and Marcus Terentius Varro, a Roman scholar. It was also borne by several early saints. The name was used in Ireland as an Anglicized form of Toirdhealbhach, but it was not in use as an English name until the late 19th century.
Terje Norwegian variant of Torgeir. From the Old Norse name Þórgeirr, which meant "Thor's spear" from the name of the Norse god Þórr (see Thor) combined with geirr "spear".
Terrance  Variant of Terence
Terrel (I found this when I mis-clicked Terrance. I thought the stubborn thing was funny.) From an English surname which was probably derived from the Norman French nickname tirel "to pull", referring to a stubborn person. It may sometimes be given in honour of civil rights activist Mary Church Terrell (1863-1954).
Tevye Yiddish form of Tobiah. From the Hebrew name (Toviyyah) which meant "Yahweh is good". This was the name of an Ammonite in the Book of Nehemiah in the Old Testament.
Thane From the Scottish and English noble title, which was originally from Old English thegn.
Theodore From the Greek name (Theodoros), which meant "gift of god" from Greek (theos) "god" and (doron) "gift". This was the name of several saints, including Theodore of Amasea, a 4th-century Greek soldier; Theodore of Tarsus, a 7th-century archbishop of Canterbury; and Theodore the Studite, a 9th-century Byzantine monk. It was also borne by two popes.
This was a common name in classical Greece, and, due to both the saints who carried it and the favourable meaning, it came into general use in the Christian world, being especially popular among Eastern Christians. It was however rare in Britain before the 19th century. Famous bearers include three tsars of Russia (in the Russian form Fyodor), American president Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) and American children's book creator Theodore Seuss Geisel (1904-1991), better known as Dr. Seuss.
Theophile French form of Theophilus. Latinized form of the Greek name (Theophilos) which meant "friend of god", derived from (theos) "god" and (philos) "friend". In the New Testament the evangelist Luke addresses his gospel and the Book of Acts to a man named Theophilus.
Thutmose Means "son of Thoth", composed of the name of the Egyptian god Thoth combined with the word mes "son" or mesu "be born". Thutmose was the name of four Egyptian pharaohs of the New Kingdom, including Thutmose III who conquered Syria and Nubia.
Tinashe Means "God is with us" in Shona.
Tipene Maori form of Stephen. From the Greek name (Stephanos) meaning "crown". Saint Stephen was a deacon who was stoned to death, as told in Acts in the New Testament, and he is regarded as the first Christian martyr. Due to him, the name became common in the Christian world. It was popularized in England by the Normans.
This was the name of kings of England, Serbia, and Poland, as well as ten popes. It was also borne by the first Christian king of Hungary (10th century), who is regarded as the patron saint of that country. More recent bearers include British physicist Stephen Hawking (1942-) and the American author Stephen King (1947-).

The most popular so far:
Dante
Teague
Terrance
Terrel

Everyone can vote, or suggest new names. The next episode won't be released until [insert name] has been given a name.

edit2: I started making a cover... and am finished with it. Here it is. [insert name] is kinda... multicolored XD.

Some changes: The whole tale of [insert name]'s struggle to becoming the Heir will eventually become one episode of the Fantastic SPAM-story... but it has now been divided into several parts of the story 'Heir Of The Empire'.

So it will be something like this:
The Fantastic SPAM-Story
  - Episode I: The Dark Warrior And The Guinea-Pig
          - Chapter 1: The Fairytale begins
          - Chapter 2: ... etc.
  - Episode II: Heir Of The Empire *highlight for the names*
      - Part I: The Heir Of The Empire
          - Chapter 1: The Fairytale Continues
          - Chapter 2: ... etc.
    - Part II: Destiny Of Blood
          - Chapter 1: The Landlord And Lady Of The Hostel
          - Chapter 2: ... etc.
    - Part III: The Return Of The Empresses
          - Chapter 1: The Battle At The Hostel
          - Chapter 2: ... etc.
    - Part IV: ... etc.
  - Episode III: [new story]

As usual, if you know better names, share it.

I'm going to send the story to Zain for proofreading... but even if it's finished, you won't get the PDF until [insert name] has been named *is evil*

[Zain]

For [insert name]'s real name, I still vote for Dante! Maybe we should create a thread somewhere for people to vote..? It'll be more organized.

I like the cover. Lol, the multicolored [insert name] looks so innocent and heroic! XD Again, great job! :]

For Episode II, Part II, Chapter, I think the name sounds a bit awkward. Maybe change it to something like the "Hostel Keepers?" But if you don't like that, you can keep it the way it is.

[Evory]

I kinda like Dante too... shall we use our power as writers and enforce the name?

I think I'll change it into "The Owners Of The Hostel"

[Zain]

Haha, well if we both like it, I don't see why not! 

That sounds fine ^^

[Evory]

Or should we wait until werr agrees (Tammy already said she liked it)? He's the parent after all...

edit: werr agreed! [Insert name] is now Dante! *throws confetti in the air*.

Now we need to change all the [insert name]s... O_O

[Zain]

werr agreed? Yay! 

Lol, this will take some time adjusting to .__.

[werr]

I don't have anything specific to say, but I figured  should join the thread. >.<
After all Dante is the main hero o_O

[Diaya]

i am gonna download and read it
something like that

[Evory]

Zain, it's not much use to PR the files I send you, because I'm going to send new ones with the name changed.

edit: the new cover, with 'Dante' instead of '[insert name]'

edit2: I looked up the meaning of the name Dante:
Dante: Medieval short form of DURANTE. The most notable bearer of this name was Dante Alighieri, the 13th-century Italian poet who wrote 'The Divine Comedy'.
Durante: Italian form of the Late Latin name Durans which meant "enduring".

Well, he most certainly must 'endure' everything Zain and I come up with

[Xye]

I got the 1st sketch of Dante! 

[Evory]

You got me back to drawing ^^ I'm TRYING to draw the Royal Empress Evory (on paper first) but I'm noticing the years of not drawing anything but stick figures. For some reason, I'm also incapable of drawing manga, I can only draw realistically O_o . I'm not too sure if it's a blessing or curse.

[Tammy]

O.O
That's my baby? OMG! If I wasn't his mum I'd be all over him!
I wonder where he got his good genes from? >.<
he's even prettier when englarged!

[werr]

He even got me proud.
And it's true, it looks even better whne enlarged >.<

[Zain]

Aww, my grandson has turned out to be a fine young boy!
Yep, better when enlarged! :P

[nancy]

omg i'm jealous...(at Xye's skills and the fact that he looks good xD)
and.... *doubts Dante's paternity...looks at werr*
Tammy..it was all you hon!  actually...Zain too I guess

[Xye]

Dante Full Body (sry, i suck at costume design =.=) 

[Shiki]

Omg! He sure is good looking. I think it would be great to have more visual in the story time by time!

[werr]

omg i'm jealous...(at Xye's skills and the fact that he looks good xD)
and.... *doubts Dante's paternity...looks at werr*
Tammy..it was all you hon!  actually...Zain too I guess

Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!
You are cruel you know...
If I wasn't who I am you could have made me cry.... 

[Shiki]

LOL! It's ok werr I understand your pain. Nancy and Xye like to bully us around because we are the endangered species! xD

[Evory]

*looks at failed drawing attempt 1,2,3 and 4, that can now only serve as manually shredded confetti*

AARRGHHGH I COMPLETELY LOST IT , I CAN'T DRAW ANYMORE!!! %$^#$%^&*&^%$

A;KJSL;ADFKSDJKLSDLKA#$%^&*(JKLDJKL;SSDKLKLSD$%^&*FJSLDFJKALSASDASDA(*&^%$SAERERHTJHEAERH

...

Sorry about that, I needed to lose some frustration

*throws manually shredded confetti in the air in an attempt to cheer herself up, but it ends all scattered around her room and also some in her already cold tea*

GHGJJIHGJKLHKDSDFUIYVJHENIUO!!

TT_TT

Some time later...

FHNMHYE#JKIOO*(*(&*^!!!!! *is clearing room and throwing away tea*

A bit later than some time later...

Okay, I calmed down... sorta >.< I'll start again tomorrow

The first part of Episode II will be released after Zain has okay-ed the final version *sends it now*

@Xye: Are you interested in making more of those wonderful illustrations ? Just say so if you think it's going to be too much, with school and all... If you're interested, I'll send you the early (unfinished) draft of the story, so you can get some ideas ;).

@werr: According to the story, Dante "looks a lot like [his father]", so don't worry about it ^^. (When/if you and Tammy appear, we'll make you both gorgeous, okay?)

[werr]

 

I don't really care about that, I was just teasing nancy ^^

*pats evory on the shoulder*

Don't worry, at the 113th failed attempt it will be perfect ^^

[Tammy]

Ignore this post.

[Xye]

haha, @Evory, I dunno if i can draw some. I can TRY XD, School just started for me today. So i dont know if i will have the time. You can post like character basic stats here and i'll try to draw it ^^:

-Gender
-Hair/Eye Color
-Physical Description (Height, fat/slim, muscular/bony, Age, etc)
-2 sentences that describes her/his role in story and personality
-What he she wears (cuz i SUCK at costume design XD;;)

just to give oyu an idea

[Evory]

THE FANTASTIC SPAM STORY
EPISODE II: HEIR OF THE EMPIRE
PART I: THE HEIR OF THE EMPIRE
is now available!!



(click the title or the onion head)

@Xye: I'll soon post a list of ALL the characters mentioned so far (whitened out, to minimize being spoiled, because there will be a lot of spoilers in there. And maybe some extra details I haven't managed to put in the story yet). Of course you don't need to draw them all, but then you can choose which ones you would like to draw ^^ .

[Zain]

*applause* WOOT!

[Tammy]

Yay!
*claps claps*
Goes to read. :skip:

[Xye]

Empress Xye? (i wanted to make her a drag queen...didnt work very well.. <--cant draw females)

[Shiki]

Lol Banzai! ;D and the Empress looks gorgeous! LOL

[werr]

Empress Xye? (i wanted to make her a drag queen...didnt work very well.. <--cant draw females)

Only bishies huh?
:P

[Xye]

actually, I REALLY tried to make the empress like a ill-taste drag queen with dam heavy make-up O__O But..i suck at it T___T Will maybe try to do again...after i finish this chapter for my Physiology Class TT__TT

[Evory]

Here's the character list as promised, so Xye can choose which one(s) she might want to draw. It's FULL of spoilers and some extras from my crazy mind that are not in the story (yet). 

I can't write short descriptions, so some are longer then two sentences

*highlight to read*
All Humanoid Characters

***=Very important character
**=Somewhat important character
*=Might still have some significance
no star= Just a random person

***Dante***
Is perfect the way you draw him <3

***The Royal Empress Xye***
That's up to you. I love the yellow eyes BTW

***The Royal Empress Zain***
More information will follow, Zain's still writing a description of her counterpart
Gender: Female
Hair/Eye Color: ?
Physical Description: ?
2 sentences that describes her/his role in story and personality: One of the Royal Empresses
What he/she wears: A blue cloak, some kind of dress underneath?, tiara?

***The Royal Empress Evory***
I went a bit extensive on this... I want to try to draw her myself first, but that might take a while *has never made a digital drawing before*
Gender: Female
Hair/Eye Color: Depends on surroundings, they change color (The main color can be interpreted as blue/green/gray, it depends on the surroundings which color dominates. There is a dark circle around it (it looks very dark because the main color is kinda light), and an reddish/orangey brown around the pupil. These are my own eyes. They're weird. The Royel Empress Evory's eyes are weirder. While they normally are about the same, they also change into every other possible color depending on her emotions = not in the story yet). Her hair color is silvery blond. (You may change it to any blond you want though. You can also be creative with the eyes, I know I made them crazy)
Physical Description: Height: Average, Posture: Average Age: Young (late teens, early twenties)
2 sentences that describes her/his role in story and personality: Quote from story: ... "The beautiful woman [I couldn't resist beautifying my counterpart XD] wearing the silver cloak replied. Her hood was down, exposing her blood-splattered pale face and her long blond blood-stained hair waving to the small of her back. She was holding an antique scythe and an impressive sword, also soaked in blood" ... "[He] noticed her eyes changed to all kinds of colors even during this small movement." (She blood-splattered because she just slaughtered some vampires in rather... violent ways. You don't need to make her covered with blood and other unpleasantness on the drawing though XD).
She usually smiles innocently. She has an extensive medical knowledge. She thinks slaughtering vampires is fun (they don't really die anyway) and it satisfies some biological and anatomical interests.
What he/she wears: Silver cloak, dress underneath (gold maybe? *doesn't have much sense of color*), has a tiara

***Drahardur***
Gender: Male
Hair/Eye Color: red (small extra that is not in the story yet: They are naturally blue, but he always makes sure that they shine red to intimidate his enemies)
Physical Description: Height: Tall, Posture: Slim, bony, Age: over 300 years old, but you can't tell (I first considered him to be middle aged (and suffering from a severe midlife-crisis I might add) but he's getting younger and younger in my mind. You could say he's late twenties/early thirties now)
2 sentences that describes her/his role in story and personality: Quote from story: "... And another cloaked man entered on the red carpet the other four men had been busy rolling out. He didn't have his hood up, so you could see his face clearly. He was pale white, had sleek black hair and red-eyes. He was obviously a vampire.
"I am the Vampire Emperor of Vladstøck. My name is Drahardur the Great, the great-great-great-great-grandson of the great Dracula.""
He's egocentric, attempts to be dramatic and evil (sometimes he succeeds) but 'secretly' (as in: obviously) is very sentimental and emotional. He is the main antagonist at the moment. He is Dante's grandfather (unknown if Zain is the grandmother, becuase she might have adopted werr, I should ask her...)
What he/she wears: A normal black cloak (hood down), black suit underneath.

**Barbara**
Gender: Female
Hair/Eye Color: No specifications
Physical Description: "The most beautiful girl in [some random] town". Barbie-like I guess?
2 sentences that describes her/his role in story and personality: Dante and Sir Guiney want to pass a bridge guarded by the Bridge Guardian, but had to show something "worth dying for", after which Dante suggested: "Is it not for a fair maiden that most men would gladly die for?", so they look for the prettiest girl in the nearby town, which is Barbara. She is immediately entranced by Dante's features, and instantly agrees to do whatever he wants (her brain apparently isn't as extraordinary as her appearance). The Bridge-Guardian gave her a copy of his cloak, and now she can only speak in rhyme. After Dante and Sir Guiney have been granted passage, she promised to wait for Dante until he returns.
What he/she wears: Before she was given the cloak: No idea. She owns a tavern, maybe you know something for that? After she was given the cloak: Obviously, a black cloak

*The Bridge-Guardian*
...Is a guy in a black cloak with the hood up. There is no real need to draw him (he's already on the cover of the second). But to have a few more illustrations of some dudes in cloaks will always come in handy, as these mysterious black cloaks are a of important part of the story)

*Landlady of the hostel*
Gender: Female
Hair/Eye Color: Not described
Physical Description: Non given.
2 sentences that describes her/his role in story and personality: She is affected by the rhyming curse on the black cloaks (which can't be taken off), so she can only speak in rhyme, and understands only single sentences or rhymes.
What he/she wears: Black cloak, with the hood up, but you can still vaguely see her face

*Landlord of the hostel*
Gender: Male
Hair/Eye Color: Not described
Physical Description: Non given
2 sentences that describes her/his role in story and personality: Has become quite good at speaking in rhyme so he can communicate with his wife, but suffers from a lot of stress because of her condition
What he/she wears: ... Whatever a landlord wears?

*Henchmen #1*
Maybe I should give him a name...
Gender: Male
Hair/Eye Color: Unknown
Physical Description: Tall, very muscular, can't guess the age
2 sentences that describes her/his role in story and personality: He is a very loyal vampire servant of Drahardur. #1 is the unofficial leader of the 5 henchmen
What he/she wears: A black cloak

Henchmen #2, 3, 4 and 5
Gender: Male
Hair/Eye Color: Unknown
Physical Description: Muscular
2 sentences that describes her/his role in story and personality: They (and #1) play the instruments accompanying Drahardur's intro song. Sometimes they interrupt. All are wearing the rhyming cloak
What they wear: Black cloaks

50+ henchmen
Gender: Male
Hair/Eye Color: Diverse
Physical Description: Diverse, but all are muscular
2 sentences that describes her/his role in story and personality: A small army of mostly vampires, but there are also some humans. They try to attempt to kidnap Dante and kill everyone at the hostel. Most of them were killed by Dante and Sir Guiney. One of them managed to bite Sir Guiney (the consequences are still unknown). Some of the vampires who tried to attack the hostel were gruesomely slaughtered by Royal Empress Evory
What they wear: Armour and/or black cloaks

Some Robbers
Not important...

The Dark Warrior
Because he probably won't make an appearance again, I don't think I need to describe him.

werr and Tammy are mentioned, but not described.

All Non-Humanoid Characters:
I don't know if you want to draw something like that... but here they are anyway.

***Sir Guiney***
A giant purple guinea-pig. Male.

**Twin-Headed Dragon**
A dragon (with two heads methinks...) that lives in the Cave of Death near the edge of the Empire. (In my crazy mind (not in the story, and will probably never make it): The THD is female, and she's pink. Her real name is "Acoochicoo", but no-one knows that.)
*end*