*dramatically poofs in*
Help will always be given to those who seek it. :P
Reading through this, I can't possibly give you a good QC. I'm not an editor for books after all. I can, however, give you these tips.
"I dislike the fact that everyone in this town yells, especially whenever one is seeking another. It is an annoying habit, one that plagues this place, and it is as if we see one another as animals, like mere pets or livestock. Though, I suppose that is what folk from small farming towns do."
I'm not a writer nor am I really an expert but can you see the difference in tone? :) We say the same thing but there are different words and phrases. Historical writing to me is more sophisticated and perhaps a bit more poetic than the norm, and it's definitely harder to write in but it's a nice exercise to stretch your vocabulary.
this "Father's knows Best" look.
It's: "Fathers know best" or "Father knows best". There is a difference and it's crucial that you can identify them. After all, the little things can make a difference in whether or not you get published.
"I lay in bed after I finish my regular routine as I like to call it."
I would reword this to something like: "After I finished what I liked to call my regular routine, I laid back in bed and thought about the course of my life."
Unfortunately, I'm running low on time and that's all I have for you at the moment. If you would like a more comprehensive review of your work, I'm more than happy to help. Just drop me a PM and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
However, I'm inclined to point out: I won't help you forever. Writing is a journey and it's different for everyone. Sometimes, it's one you take alone. ;) And sometimes, it's one you take step by step with people. I recommend you to use this site.
[spoiler]Register and post your stories there. It's a fairly popular community for writers and there's a review system other people can use to post comments, opinions, and general feedback to each of your posted stories and/or chapters. If you're lucky, you may even get a reviewer who will give you great constructive criticism on your work and you'll be able to improve that way.
Two things to note though are that: Fiction Press is a large community and it's hard to get noticed; and second, often, once you finally get published, you aren't allowed online copies of the book unless it's not specified in your contract. If it is, you'll have to take down your stories from Fiction Press. But that's it. I find FP's advantages outweigh it's disadvantages so it's pretty good.[/spoiler]
Good luck. (Y) I hope I made some semblance of sense. I didn't get any sleep. \o/
Help will always be given to those who seek it. :P
Reading through this, I can't possibly give you a good QC. I'm not an editor for books after all. I can, however, give you these tips.
- Pay close attention to your use of language. When an author writes, you can always tell what sort of timeline the story is set in by the tone they use, be it modern or historical. I realised you were trying to write in some sort of medieval world when you didn't use contractions for "do not" and such. I can't tell you how to fix it since it's a learned skill but I do suggest that you read more historical books? This site has a particularly good list of online historical/fantasy novels you can read to brush up on your knowledge of the language in that era. (My girlfriend reads from there so it should be good. :P I have faith in her, ahahaha.)
"I dislike the fact that everyone in this town yells, especially whenever one is seeking another. It is an annoying habit, one that plagues this place, and it is as if we see one another as animals, like mere pets or livestock. Though, I suppose that is what folk from small farming towns do."
I'm not a writer nor am I really an expert but can you see the difference in tone? :) We say the same thing but there are different words and phrases. Historical writing to me is more sophisticated and perhaps a bit more poetic than the norm, and it's definitely harder to write in but it's a nice exercise to stretch your vocabulary.
- I implore you to check your grammar (and spelling too, though you don't make those mistakes too often). After you write, be it a page or a chapter, always wait until the next day to proofread it. Then take a break from it for a few days, then look over it again. It's a good habit to develop since you're always trying to see your work with fresh eyes. Always put yourself in the reader's position and try to see if they can understand or not.
this "Father's knows Best" look.
It's: "Fathers know best" or "Father knows best". There is a difference and it's crucial that you can identify them. After all, the little things can make a difference in whether or not you get published.
- Be mindful about tense. Novels are generally written in past or present tense. For example: "I laid in bed and thought about..." as opposed to "As I lie in bed, I think about...". It's always important to stick to one tense, since the reader can easily get confused. And you don't want that because as soon as the reader gets confused, the sooner they'll lose interest
"I lay in bed after I finish my regular routine as I like to call it."
I would reword this to something like: "After I finished what I liked to call my regular routine, I laid back in bed and thought about the course of my life."
Unfortunately, I'm running low on time and that's all I have for you at the moment. If you would like a more comprehensive review of your work, I'm more than happy to help. Just drop me a PM and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
However, I'm inclined to point out: I won't help you forever. Writing is a journey and it's different for everyone. Sometimes, it's one you take alone. ;) And sometimes, it's one you take step by step with people. I recommend you to use this site.
[spoiler]Register and post your stories there. It's a fairly popular community for writers and there's a review system other people can use to post comments, opinions, and general feedback to each of your posted stories and/or chapters. If you're lucky, you may even get a reviewer who will give you great constructive criticism on your work and you'll be able to improve that way.
Two things to note though are that: Fiction Press is a large community and it's hard to get noticed; and second, often, once you finally get published, you aren't allowed online copies of the book unless it's not specified in your contract. If it is, you'll have to take down your stories from Fiction Press. But that's it. I find FP's advantages outweigh it's disadvantages so it's pretty good.[/spoiler]
Good luck. (Y) I hope I made some semblance of sense. I didn't get any sleep. \o/
